Such a familiar question that often invokes an automatic response, and yet behind that response of ‘I’m OK, how are you?’ or ‘Not too bad, what about you?’ lies a multitude of emotions and feelings.
There are actually eight basic emotions; five have the effect of slowing down your ability to think and perform (sadness, shame, disgust, anger and fear) and three help you perform at your best (love/trust, excitement/joy and surprise/startle).
So, how are you feeling today?
Chances are that, depending on where you are, who you are with and your own health and wellbeing you could actually be feeling many different emotions throughout the day.
In this month’s newsletter I share a few ways for you to start to recognise your emotions, what causes them and how you can harness that information to make you a better leader, manager, parent and friend. There’s also the opportunity to take advantage of a special June offer to book for an in-depth assessment and personalised coaching programme based on your emotional strengths. And, you can subscribe to get a specially curated Right on Track playlist, this month designed to energise.
These are ‘headline’ emotions and a crude way of expressing how we really feel. An article by Susan David in the Harvard Business Review talks about how being able to accurately describe your emotions, rate their intensity and then write about them can help you be better equipped to respond in a constructive way.
In a Podcast with Brené Brown, Professor Marc Brackett talks about his new book ‘Permission to feel’ in which he describes RULER; an evidence-based approach to social and emotional learning (SEL) developed at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. RULER is a simple acronym which stands for Recognise, Understand, Label, Express and Regulate and is designed to helps you think about how you are feeling and how to then express those emotions appropriately. There’s even an app, in fact there are loads of apps available to log your mood, if that’s something that might help you. BUT none of this is any good if you don’t know what to do with how you feel, particularly if those feeling are negative.
We’ve all been on a bit of an emotional roller-coaster over the past 12 weeks and I don’t know about you, but I never really know how I’m going to feel from one day to the next. So, where are you on this model? It’s likely that you are somewhere in middle, partly because there is little or no certainty about the future.
We’ve gone through the shock of lockdown and are now
- feeling increasingly frustrated by not being able to meet with friends and family;
- fed up with zoom and the problems with the internet connection;
- concerned about the future;
All of which, understandably makes you feel low, casts doubt your ability to get through this and makes you feel increasingly anxious. The problem is, you are probably not saying any of this to colleagues or friends because you feel that you should just keep on smiling. This isn’t an effective strategy, and, in the end, you will become exhausted with the effort.
Accepting where you are right now, looking for the positives that make you smile (however small) and finding time for yourself are necessary steps to coping. It’s called self-compassion and it’s a recognised emotional competence that effective, resilient leaders have.
The good news is that it’s not something you either have or don’t have, you can develop and hone this skill along with the other emotional competences. But it is hard to do this on your own, so I’m offering all subscribers the opportunity to book a call and find out how to recognise, understand and label those emotions in a way that allow you to express and regulate them in the workplace and at home. In the meantime, enjoy this month’s specially curated playlist ‘Right on Track’.
SUBSCRIBER OFFER Book now to take advantage of a limited opportunity to complete the ECR™ on-line assessment tool (normally £87) and a 90-minute follow-up consultation to develop your individual goals based on the assessment of your emotional leadership strengths and areas for development. £149
RIGHT ON TRACK Enjoy this month’s specially curated playlist with my thanks for reading and subscribing to this newsletter.